![]() ![]() Others invest so much attention in how trans people use our genitals. When I hook up with someone, the ghosts of those conversations are often in my head. My jaw dropped at the implication that real women don't have sex drives, but I remembered her lesson-pretend not to want sex or people will judge you. She said fetishists can't stand it, so only the true women remain. When I was first transitioning, an older trans woman explained one benefit of testosterone blockers: They kill your sex drive. Many of these outdated notions have been removed since the turn of the century however, large portions of the trans community continue to enforce them anyway. For some, it's just about preparing younger trans people to deal with the doctors. After decades of this system, trans people learned and taught each other how to jump through all the right hoops. Liking sex too much, in the wrong way, or with the wrong people can mean you don't get access to hormones. (Supposedly, if you crossdress without masturbating, you're a true transsexual, but if you masturbate, too, then it's just a sexual fetish.) ![]() I was taken aback by his incestuous suggestion and only later realized it was apparently a diagnostic test. Sexuality has been used as the basis for a lot of discrimination against trans people, who are treated as sexual objects, and the medical system has a long history of putting trans people through twisted expectations around sexuality.įor example, the first time I went to a therapist, out of the blue he asked me if I ever masturbated while wearing my mother's clothing. Before I knew it, we were making out in a hotel room.įor trans people, sex can be an anxiety-laden issue. After the event ended, I worked up the courage to make a move. You'd be surprised how many people are fine with having trans friends but freak out at the prospect of a trans lover. Still, I must admit, there was a tinge of hesitation on my part. She was hanging out with trans friends, and all signs said she was perfectly safe. I was traveling, and my expectations weren't very high, but there was one person I hit it off with. But when I saw a speed-dating event specifically for queer and trans people, I couldn't resist. Speed dating doesn't usually appeal to me. ![]()
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